


Forgiveness: Screaming and Then Silence (ON HIATUS UNTIL 2018)

by edith681



Category: Llamas with Hats (Web Series)
Genre: Best Friends, Brother-Sister Relationships, Childhood Friends, Childhood Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Feels, Found Poetry, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 18:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edith681/pseuds/edith681
Summary: "What are you doing?" he exclaimed, jumping up."Trying to save you! I saw you jump from the bridge, are you nuts?"Carl could only stare at the girl. Did this really just happen?The girl snapped her fingers in his face. "Hey! I said 'are you nuts?'""Thanks. For saving me, I mean.""You're welcome."





	1. What's Your Name?

**A/N: Hey guys, this is a book that I wrote. You might want to watch the Llamas With Hats series first, or you might not understand the book. There will be references to the earlier episodes of the series throughout the book. Enjoy!**

 

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Llamas With Hats. All rights go to FilmCow. I only own the plot and my OCs.**

 

"Carl! Oh, hey. Caaarrrl! I didn't do it."

 

  
Carl closed his eyes and jumped into the water. His hat floated to the top.

 

Underneath the water, Carl closed his eyes and passed out.

 

Just then, someone grabbed his neck and hat and pulled him out.

 

A 12-year old girl pulled him to land.

 

She tried to think. She had precious little seconds to save the llama. 

 

_Come on. You know cpr!_ she thought. She pumped on his chest and checked for a pulse every few seconds.

 

When that didn't work, she knew she had to go to plan B. She had to give him the kiss of life. She leaned in...

 

Just then, Carl's eyes shot open.

 

 

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed, jumping up.

 

"Trying to save you! I saw you jump from the bridge, are you nuts?"

 

Carl could only stare at the girl. Did this really just happen?

 

The girl snapped her fingers in his face. "Hey! I said 'are you nuts?'"

 

"Thanks. For saving me, I mean."

 

"You're welcome."

 

Carl didn't know what to do or say now. Was he dreaming? Was this girl real? Why didn't he feel like he wanted to kill her and eat her face?

 

He didn't understand. He was feeling  _protective_ of this girl. He just didn't understand it.

 

"Are you for real?" Carl found himself asking. 

 

"Of course. What kind of question is that?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"So who are you?"

 

"I'm Carl. What's your name?"

 

"Addison. Addison Hale. Are you real?"

 

"Yes. Extremely."

 

"I guess we're the only two left in the world."

 

"I think I'm having a dream."

 

"How do you know this isn't my dream?" Addison thought aloud.

 

"Is this even a dream?"

 

"I doubt it. But you never know."

 

Carl thought. This couldn't possibly be real. Everyone was dead.

 

"I'm going to protect you." Carl said the words before he thought about them.

 

"You are?"

 

This time Carl thought about his answer, and the only one he could come up with was...

 

"Yes."

 

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter. It's much shorter than the upcoming chapters will be, so I hope you enjoy everything that will happen in the future. Have fun! I'll post the second chapter soon.**


	2. Where Do We Go From Here?

**A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoy chapter 2. I kinda wish I owned Llamas With Hats, but I don't. Have fun! Please review because I love feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but no flames please. Okay, enjoy. On with the story!**

 

**Update: Hey, guys, over the past few days I've been going over and over this story in my head, and I've been tossing around ideas. When I first started writing this book, I thought it was just going to be cute and fun, but there's actually some very intense feels from this point forward. This fanfiction has become very special to me since the idea came to me about two weeks ago. Out of all the fanfics I've written or will ever write, this is probably the one that is most important to me. I'm going through so many emotions when I think about or write this book. I just find so many emotions in this book. I am very emotionally attached to it. Too many feels to write. I have a huge emotional connection to Addison especially, because a lot of stuff that's happened to her in the past has also happened to me. Anyway, enjoy!**

 

_**Last chapter:** _

 

_**"I'm going to protect you." Carl said the words before he thought about them.** _

 

_**"You are?"** _

 

_**This time Carl thought about his answer, and the only one he could come up with was...** _

 

_**"Yes."** _

 

\------

 

 A million thoughts were going through Carl's head. Why did he feel so protective of Addison? Why did he want to be her friend? Why did he feel like being nice to her?

 

Then one thought floated across his mind, one memory, singled out among a million.

 

It was him, standing at Paul's door, and from the inside, Paul said, "Carl, please! I really gave you every chance I could."

 

And now he had another chance. This time he would prove himself worthy of being called a friend.

 

 

"So, what the heck were you doing up on that bridge, anyway? I mean, jumping from a bridge?! You're gonna kill yourself."

 

 

Addison's face changed from confusion to shock as realization hit her. "Oh my gosh. You were trying to kill yourself!"

 

 

Carl opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

 

 

Addison looked sadly down at the ground on which she was sitting.

 

 

"Is it because you lost someone too?" she asked quietly.

 

 

Carl didn't answer.

 

 

"I lost my whole family. My dad I don't give a shit about, but my mom I really miss."

 

 

Carl was equally shocked to hear her use that kind of language and to hear that she didn't care at all that her father was dead.

 

 

"Then there's my little brother." Addison took out a walkie talkie and looked down at it, smiling. "He had the other one of these."

 

 

"It's probably broken now," said Carl.

 

 

Addison glanced up. "Nope. Waterproof."

 

 

Carl nodded.

 

 

Addison looked at him. "Hey, you haven't answered any of my questions."

 

 

"I don't really have an answer for you."

 

 

"Oh. Did you have any family that you lost in this wake of destruction?"

 

 

"Yes. A brother."

 

 

"Oh," said Addison. "That's too bad."

 

 

"Nothing we can do about it now."

 

 

Addison nodded slowly. "I guess not. What should we do now?"

 

 

"We could hang out here," Carl suggested.

 

 

"I don't see the point. I mean, nobody's coming to find us. Look around, the world's destroyed. Everyone is gone!" "

 

 

"You asked," muttered Carl under his breath.

 

 

"Oh, yeah." Addison snapped her fingers. "I have an idea. Come on, this way!" She started walking, but then she felt Carl under her. He stood up and she was on his back.

 

 

"You don't have to give me a ride, you know."

 

 

"Yeah," said Carl. "I know."

 

 

**Here's chapter 2 (finally.) I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I have a bunch of ongoing projects and I'm constantly adding new ones, so I have to choose which ones I want to work on each time I go on my computer. Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. My daughter actually helped me out with ideas for this book, and pretty much wrote the next chapter all by herself, with a bit of help from me. I'm not kidding, I pretty much just wrote what she said.**


	3. NOT My Friend

**Author's Note: The good news is, here's a new chapter for you guys! The bad news is, I don't own Llamas With Hats. Just the idea for this book and my OCs.**

 

**Hey, guys, so I don't know how it could have possibly taken me so long to do this update. Oh, wait, yes I do. I took a long break from this book. Okay, ready for a list of excuses?**

**1\. I recently lost my great grandmother, so I've been taking a two week break, dealing with the funeral, problems with my brother, and the grief process.**

**2\. I have a lot of projects, thirty that I'm working on at the moment, a few drafts I'm going to be posting soon, and about three times as many ideas still in my head that need to get written down. I also have some books on my computer that I haven't put up on this website yet, but I plan to. So every time I go on my computer, I have to choose what project(s) I want to work on that day. And surprise, surprise, that leaves some books untouched for months. I can't update absolutely everything every week, or even every month.**

**3\. Just because I'm not updating on this website, doesn't mean I haven't been writing. I normally write every day. If I'm not updating, it just means that I haven't finished a chapter or written something that I want to put up. This is especially true for the longer chapters, which are becoming more common in my books.**

**Okay, so a lot of you guys probably thought I abandoned this book. Let me make something clear: I don't abandon projects. I used to when I was younger, but I don't anymore. So if you guys think I abandoned a book, it's just on hiatus. I'll always come back to it. It probably just means I haven't got anything good to update with. If I really think a writing project is that bad or I don't want to continue it, I just won't post it.**

**Like I said last chapter, my daughter wrote this chapter. Me and her love Llamas With Hats. I just fixed a few grammar and spelling mistakes. So please give her credit for this chapter, not me. Oh, and just in case you haven't seen Llamas With Hats, you will not understand the book. So here is a link:[www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOwdrTA...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOwdrTA8Gw)**

**Anyway, here is chapter three. Hope you enjoy!**

 

_**Last chapter:** _

 

_**"Oh, yeah." Addison snapped her fingers. "I have an idea. Come on, this way!" She started walking, but then she felt Carl under her. He stood up and she was on his back.** _

 

_**"You don't have to give me a ride, you know."** _

 

_**"Yeah," said Carl. "I know."** _

 

\-----

 

"Addison," whispered Carl. They were almost at Addison's house. She had fallen asleep on Carl's back. 

 

"Addison," said Carl, a little louder. She wouldn't wake up.

 

"Addison!" cried Carl, and she tumbled off his back.

 

"Ow, what'd you do?" exclaimed Addison.

 

Carl couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry. Are you okay?"

 

"You think this is funny?"

 

"It kind of is."

 

Addison smiled, grabbed Carl's left legs, and pulled them out from under him. Carl toppled to the ground.

 

Addison stood above him, a smug look on her face. "Ha, now we're even!"

 

"Ooh, you're gonna get it," said Carl, narrowing his eyes, but keeping a smile on his face.

 

"You're gonna have to catch me first!" said Addison, getting up and running a few steps away. She turned back to playfully taunt Carl. "What's wrong? Can't get up?"

 

Carl managed to get to his feet. 

 

"Uh-oh." Addison made a run for it. 

 

Carl was able to catch up with her a minute later. He tapped her with his hoof. "Gotcha!"

 

He laughed for a minute, then stopped. Addison was just standing there.

 

"Addison? You okay?"

 

Addison pointed. "That's it. 33 Greenwood Avenue. My old house."

 

"It looks okay. There's only a small hole in the side of it."

 

There was a two foot wide and one foot tall hole in the left side of the house. 

 

"I know, but that's not what I'm upset about. It's just..." Addison bit her bottom lip. "Everyone I know and and love is gone. I think...I think it's just you and me."

 

Carl heard the tears in her voice, and it cut him like a knife. He didn't know why, but he felt bad for what he had done. How could he be so selfish? He had destroyed the world just to prove a point to Paul, who he had lost in the carnage anyway. He had killed his own best friend. He didn't think he deserved a second chance at life. 

 

But Addison did. Carl was going to protect her.

 

"Let's go," said Addison quietly, and led Carl into her house through the front door, which fell forward when she reached for the doorknob.

 

"So, this is my house. It's pretty much intact except for that hole in the side. Welcome to Casa Del Addison."

 

Carl raised one eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

 

"I don't know. That's what my friend Casey used to say whenever I came over. Except for the Addison part. She said Casey instead."

 

Addison walked over to the hole. "I wish this stupid hole wasn't here."

 

"Hey, it could be worse. A swan piano could fall on you."

 

"What the heck?" Addison laughed. "What is a swan piano?"

 

"Never mind."

 

Addison laughed.

 

"I think that hole gives this house class."

 

"Way to put a positive spin on things," said Addison, smiling at Carl. "It's really fun having you around."

 

"Thanks. You, too." Carl smiled back. "So, what's for dinner?"

 

Addison looked thoughtful. Then she got an idea. "The basement!" 

 

Carl frowned. "Um, look, I'm not a picky eater at all, but cement and sawdust is a step too far, I think."

 

Addison burst into laughter. She couldn't help it. 

 

"Okay, fine, I'll try a bite. What's so funny?"

 

"You..are..." Addison gasped, trying to catch her breath while she laughed harder than she ever had in her life. "You thought....I actually...meant...!"

 

"Oh. So what did you mean?"

 

Addison finally managed to catch her breath. "You're blushing."

 

"Am not."

 

"Are too. I can see it."

 

"Fine. So what  _are_ we going to eat?"

 

"I can't believe you thought I actually meant...Anyway, there's a door in the basement that my mom keeps locked. In it is a stash of all my favorite candy and chocolate. My mom used it motivate me to do things all the time. But tonight, it's our banquet."

 

Addison saw that Carl was salivating.

 

"So how do we get in?"

 

"I know where my mom keeps the key. I'd snuck a few candy bars here and there. As long as I didn't take more than two a week, she never suspected a thing."

 

"Wow."

 

"It's on top of the door. I can't get up there by myself, but if you could let me get up on your back, I think we can reach the key."

 

"Okay, sounds good. I'm in."

 

The two of them went down to the basement.

 

"Whoa, who lives down here?" Carl asked.

 

"Me. This is my room."

 

Carl looked impressed. "Really?"

 

"Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, check this out!" She went to the back of the room and opened another, smaller room. "I have my own private bathroom!"

 

"Why would your dad give you this? I thought you said he was a mean parent."

 

Addison looked back, and Carl saw sadness in his eyes. "Things were...complicated...in my house."

 

"But why-?"

 

"I don't wanna talk about it!" snapped Addison. Her gaze softened when she saw that she had hurt Carl. "Sorry. Just...please don't make me."

 

"Okay," said Carl. "Me and my brother had a complicated relationship too, so I can understand complicated."

 

"Really?"

 

Carl nodded sadly.

 

Addison's stomach rumbled.

 

"My stomach's making the rumblies, that only candy can satisfy," said Addison, and laughed.

 

Carl faked a smile. That reminded him of him and Paul, standing in the living room, Paul questioning him about the dead man, asking him where the guy's hands were, and Carl responding, "My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands could satisfy."

 

Carl shook his head. "Come on, let's get some food."

 

"Yeah, good idea. The closet's over there."

 

They went over to it.

 

"Okay, I think I can reach it if I get a little higher. Here, gimme a boost."

 

"Okay." Addison climbed up on Carl's back, and Carl gave her a boost.

 

"Okay....almost got it...come on..." Addison stretched. "Just a little more....Carl, can you get any higher?"

 

"I can try." Carl stretched, and Addison did, too.

 

"Come on," said Addison.

 

"Be careful."

 

"I am." Just then, Addison fell off Carl's back. Carl grabbed up a pillow in his mouth and threw it over to where Addison was. Luckily, it landed right under her head before the impact.

 

"Addison are you okay?" asked Carl worriedly.

 

"I think so," said Addison, sitting up.

 

"Did you break anything? Do you have a concussion?"

 

"I'm fine."

 

Carl held up his hoof. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

 

Addison gave him a smug look. "You don't have any fingers, you're a llama."

 

Carl looked at his own hoof, then put it down. "Well, alright then," he said with a satisfied smile.

 

"We're gonna have an awesome dinner!" exclaimed Addison.

 

"You mean, you got the key?"

 

"Yeah." Addison held it up triumphantly.

 

"Alright, go, Addison!" said Carl excitedly. It felt so unnatural. He had never cheered for anyone before, not even Paul. Carl smiled. It felt great!

 

\-----

 

The sun was beginning to set, but Addison had the basement lights on. 

 

"Hey, can you hand me a bag of gummi worms?" asked Addison. Carl slid it towards Addison.

 

"Okay, tell me one thing about you that no one else knows," said Carl.

 

Addison bit into a gummi worm and chewed thoughtfully. "One thing nobody else knows about me, huh?"

 

Carl nodded. "And make it good."

 

"Fine. Let me think. Okay, here's one. When I was in the third grade, I ate a worm."

 

"Really, is that all you've got?"

 

"It was the first thing I thought of!"

 

"That's not nearly juicy enough. And if it was a gummi worm, it doesn't count."

 

"What, do you want me to say I killed someone or something?"

 

"No, I'm just looking for something better. I don't want you to lie. Unless you really killed someone!"

 

"No, I didn't. And that is not funny." She waved a gummi worm in front of Carl's face. Carl ate it out of her hand.

 

"Hey, that was mine! Give it back."

 

"You don't want it back. Trust me."

 

Addison made a disgusted face, then ate another gummi worm. "Okay, give me an example of a good one. Tell me something that nobody knows about you."

 

"What about my brother?"

 

"Not even your brother."

 

"Well, to be honest, I told Paul pretty much everything."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah. We were...really close. But we didn't end on such good terms."

 

"Oh?"

 

"We had a huge fight, and I tried to get him to forgive me, but..." Carl shook his head. A single tear fell from his eye.

 

"Look, I know the feeling of wishing you'd done things differently. I've had things like that happen before, and I've had my share of fights with my little brother. But, as my mom always said, you can't change the past, you can only be better in the future."

 

"That's true. Your mother was very smart. Paul was two years younger than me, but he was always kind of the smart one. I mean, he kept me in check."

 

"So, what did you do that was so bad that he wouldn't forgive you? Did you blow up the world or something?"

 

Carl looked at her, thinking for a minute that she had found out the truth, but when he saw the amused look on her face, he knew she was joking.

 

"No," he lied. "I don't know how the world ended."

 

"Maybe someone divided by zero," joked Addison. They both laughed.

 

"So, is there anything that Paul doesn't know?" 

 

"Well...no, not that I can think of. I pretty much told him everything."

 

"Same with me and my brother. Except for the worm thing. I didn't want him to think I was weird. Okay, I have one. It's kind of hard to talk about, and I've never told anyone."

 

"You can tell me," said Carl.

 

"Okay. I'm terrified of the water."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah. I was walking alongside the river at my old place, and I saw someone who was laying alongside the river unconscious. I called the police, then got out of there, because I didn't want to get in  trouble. The next day there was this story on the news about someone who had drowned in the river. It was the woman I had seen earlier. I've never told anyone. For the last six ears I've never even gone near the water."

 

"But...you jumped in the water to save me."

 

"I didn't care then. Your life was more important. I knew I had to overcome my fear to save you."

 

Carl gave her a smile. There were tears in his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

 

"Hey, we should watch a movie before we go to sleep," suggested Addison.

 

"What movie?" 

 

"Hang on." Addison went to the right side of the room where there was a closet, and flung the door open. "Check it out."

 

"Whoa," said Carl. "That's awesome."

 

There was a very tall shelf in the closet, and movies were on every shelf.

 

"Is that your movie collection?"

 

"Just the bottom two shelves. But my parents put them down here for easy access."

 

"Okay, so which movie do you want to watch?"

 

"Sex Tape."

 

"What's that?"

 

"It's about this couple who accidentally sends their homemade sex tape out to their friends and family, and they have to somehow delete it before everyone sees it." Addison chuckled. "I've never seen it before. Its R rated."

 

Carl smiled. "Let's do it."

 

\-----

 

While they were watching the movie, Addison looked over and saw that Carl had the lamp on. All the other lights were off, and Carl was bent over a piece of paper with a box of colored pencils, working on something. 

 

"What are you doing?" Addison asked. 

 

"You can see after the movie. It's a surprise."

 

"I'm gonna go get some popcorn."

 

Carl made sure he covered up the drawing as Addison walked by. She came back with a bowl of popcorn.

 

The movie ended a while later. The lights were back on. The popcorn was all gone.

 

Addison looked over at Carl. Carl nudged the picture towards Addison. "Here you go."

 

Addison looked at the picture. It had Carl and Addison standing under a rainbow, and at the top of the page, it said "Best friends forever."

 

Addison frowned at the picture. "Oh, um...thanks."

 

"Is something wrong?"

 

"Well...it's just...we're not friends."

 

"What?" Carl looked upset.

 

"My dad said that there's no such thing as friends in this world."

 

A hard look came over Carl's face. "Oh, I think I see the problem," he said flatly.

 

"You do?"

 

"You've been brainwashed," Carl explained.

 

"I have?"

 

"Your dad put some things in your head that aren't supposed to be there."

 

"Oh," whispered Addison. "Can we un-brainwash me?"

 

Carl smiled. "Yes. We can. And I'm going to help you. But you have to believe that I'm your friend."

 

Addison smiled back. "Okay."

 

"I want to hear you say it."

 

"You're my friend. My best friend!" Addison threw her arms around Carl's neck. It was the best that Carl had felt since he'd seen Paul last.

 

"Hang on. I want to give you something, too." Addison reached into her pocket and pulled out a small cross necklace.

 

"Here," she said, putting it around Carl's neck. 

 

"Who's the guy on the necklace?" Carl asked. 

 

"That's Jesus Christ," Addison said. "He died for our sins."

 

"Really? What else?"

 

"His father, God, created the whole universe. And us. And my mom always said, if you believe in God and you're a good person, you'll go to a paradise in the sky called Heaven when you die. My mom also told me that if you're alive, you must have a divine purpose. So, you're still alive. God must have a purpose for you."

 

"I know what it is." Carl smiled down at Addison.

 

Carl's purpose was to protect Addison, to make sure she was safe and to show her what true friendship was. His purpose was to be her friend.

 

"I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight." Carl started to head upstairs, but then he heard Addison call his name. 

 

"Carl." Carl turned back.

 

"I don't want to sleep by myself. Will you sleep with me tonight?"

 

"Of course." Carl lay beside her bed. Addison took out an extra blanket and put it over Carl.

 

"Goodnight, Carl."

 

"Goodnight, Addison."

 

As Carl drifted off to sleep, one last thought crossed his mind: He was ready to fulfill his purpose.

 

**Here you go, guys! This is one of the longer chapters. Hopefully the chapters will be about this long throughout the entire book. Sorry for such a long wait. I hope it was worth it.**

 

**Next chapter: Thanks For Your Help**

 

**Neu-on or before February 2016**

 

**A/N:I know I haven't updated in a while, but I got really sick and now I'm taking a break because of the Christmas holidays. I will start updating again on the 5th of January, but this may not be my first stop.**

**Will keep you all posted,**

**Vanellope Brighton**


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